Dear
Santa,
Hey
Santa,
help
me
out
here.
Sorry
I
haven't
written
to
you
before.
Guess
I've
been
saving
up.
Well,
this
year
I've
got
a
big
list,
but
I've
been
good.
All
I
want
for
Christmas
is.
One
self
cleaning
kitchen
floor.
(Push
a
button
and
a
shiny
new
surface
emerges
-
minus
pawprints)
Carpeting
that
doesn't
bear
the
scars
of
the
recent
housebreaking
war.
Dogsafe
pantyhose.
I'd
like
to
get
out
the
door
without
screaming
"off,
off,
PANYTHOSE!!!"
A
cold
Winter
followed
by a
dry
Spring
Please
Santa,
no
more
mud!!!
An
end
to
rawhide
fights.
How
can
I
use
the
stuff
as a
cheap
doggie
babysitter
if
they
are
noisier
WITH
rawhide
than
without?
Considerate
dog
owners
who
leash
their
pets
So I
can
move
freely
about
the
neighborhood
with
the
furkids
without
being
circled
by
yapping
small
dogs
or
menaced
by
ominously
large
dogs
of
unknown
character.
An
automatic
Cocker
ear
detangler
With
a
special
Booda
Bone
setting.
Doggie
sweaters
that
fit.
That
do
not
"grow"
once
on
the
dog
covering
tails
and
creating
major
irritation
or
shrink
causing
the
poor
dogs
to
look
like
sausages
ready
to
pop.
An
uninterrupted
night's
sleep.
One
without
the
puppy
sobbing
to
get
up
at
4AM
to
play,
or
the
old
dog's
bladder
giving
out
at
2AM
or
the
young
dog
returning
something
she
ate
at
5AM.
A
full
time
"yard
guard"
to
fill
holes,
scoop
poop,
repair
dog
damage,
keep
order
and
gather
up
the
soft
toys
left
outside
and
scrape
off
the
earthworms
before
they
come
back
into
the
house.
A
seamstress
to
mend
all
the
disemboweled
dog
toys
piling
up
in
the
closet
awaiting
repair.
A
lifetime
supply
of
free
vet
care
(or
at
least
some
sort
of
"frequent
flier"
discount)
Massive
acts
of
love,
kindness
and
sanity.
I
want
everyone
who
loves
dogs
to
do
something
nice
for
a
local
shelter
or
rescue.
Take
in
treats
or
food,
volunteer
to
walk
a
dog,
cuddle
a
puppy
-
whatever.
All
pet
owners
to
spay
or
neuter
their
pets
so
overworked
shelter
staffs
can
concentrate
on
the
millions
of
homeless
pets
already
in
need.
I
want
every
lost
pet
to
find
their
way
home.
I
want
every
abused,
neglected
or
abandoned
pet
to
find
a
loving
new
home.
Oh,
I
know
it's
a
tall
order
Santa,
but
they
say
miracles
happen
at
Christmastime...
Oh,
and
could
you
please
send
an
elf
to
take
Duncan
to
puppy
school.
dogmama
